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Maybe Loving Yourself Is Part of “I Love You” Too
520 is usually about saying “I love you.”
Flowers, gifts, long messages, being held by someone you care about. Love always feels loud around this time of year. Like it needs to be shown, spoken out loud, proven somehow.
But lately I’ve been thinking…
Maybe real love isn’t only about loving someone else.
Maybe it should also include being gentle with ourselves too.
I think a lot of us are used to giving softness away first.
We pay attention to other people’s feelings. We remember what they like. We worry about whether they feel cared for, understood, loved enough.
But when it comes to ourselves, it’s easy to forget.
We stay tired for too long. Pretend we’re okay when we’re not. Keep wearing things that make us uncomfortable because it doesn’t seem important enough to change.
And sometimes we get so used to holding everything together that we forget we need care too.
I don’t think self-love is always a big dramatic thing.
It’s not necessarily becoming the most confident version of yourself, or suddenly turning into someone stronger, prettier, more “together.”
Sometimes it’s much smaller than that.
Leaving a light on for yourself late at night.
Wearing something soft that lets your body breathe a little.
Not forcing yourself to be okay immediately when you’re having a hard day.
Or simply allowing yourself to soften for a moment.
Not slowly hiding the softest part of yourself just to fit what other people expect from you.
Sometimes real tenderness doesn’t come from someone else at all.
Sometimes it’s just finally deciding to treat yourself gently.
I’ve always felt like the body knows things before the mind does.
When you stay tense, exhausted, anxious for too long, your body starts responding quietly. Everything feels heavier. Breathing feels shorter. Even rest stops feeling like rest.
But when you finally slow down a little — soft fabrics, warm light, a quiet evening, clean sheets, a moment where nobody needs anything from you — your body notices that too.
It tells you, very honestly:
“This feels better.”
That’s why I don’t think softness is weakness.
If anything, it feels more like permission.
Permission to rest.
Permission to be cared for.
Permission to stop being strong every second of the day.
And maybe permission to still love the small things that make life feel gentle.
The feeling of soft fabric against your skin.
A quiet room at night.
The warmth of being comfortable in your own body again.
So yes, 520 can still be about saying “I love you” to someone you care about.
But maybe today is also a good time to say it to yourself too.
Because you deserve to be loved gently as well.
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